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Be Kind. Always.

In the effort to make “mindfulness” totally non-sectarian some training programs focus almost entirely on strengthening concentration and the ability to stay with present-moment experience, with little or no emphasis on compassion. This has made the mindfulness movement vulnerable to the argument that, for instance, there could be such a thing as a “mindful” terrorist or a "mindful" bank robber.

Of course, something seems very wrong with this, since kindness and compassion are at the core of almost every meditative tradition. There are a number of videos in this module, but they are all short and flow one into another:

In the video, "Be Kind. Always.", mindfulness teacher Jamie Derrick shares how, for many years now, she has taken this saying as her personal motto. This is not a "wimpy-walk-on-me" kindness but a strong, "say-what-needs-to-be-said" kindness. Being kind does not necessarily mean backing down when a hard truth needs to be told or when we need to protect ourselves or others. In recognition of this, Jamie told us recently that she has modified her personal motto so that it is now "Be kind. Be true. Always." Jamie reminds us that kindness is possible in any circumstance when intelligence and wisdom are applied.

In Tara Brach's A "real" Good Samaritan, she shares a surprising story about a modern-day good Samaritan in the form of a British train conductor. Empathy: The Human Connection is a powerful short from Cleveland Clinic which transports us into other peoples' inner worlds and Grand Central Station, narrated by Sharon Salzberg, reminds us that the people around us want the same things that we want (e.g., happiness, love, ease, health) and she opens the possibility of seeing our shared humanity in the most common of places.

PS - Briefly mentioned in the introduction video is the article, 6 Amazing Ways Animals Show Compassion. It's a short but fascinating summary of some of Frans de Waal's work.

Videos and Readings for this module

Supplementary Resources

Excerpts related to this topic



Imagine walking along a sidewalk with your arms full of groceries, and someone roughly bumps into you so that you fall and your groceries are strewn over the ground. As you rise up from the puddle of broken eggs and tomato juice, you are ready to shout out, "You idiot! What's wrong with you? Are you blind?" But just before you can catch your breath to speak, you see that the person who bumped you is actually blind. He, too, is sprawled in the spilled groceries, and your anger vanishes in an instant, to be replaced by sympathetic concern: "Are you hurt? Can I help you up?"

Our situation is like that. When we clearly realize that the source of disharmony and misery in the world is ignorance, we can open the door of wisdom and compassion. Then we are in a position to heal ourselves and others.

- from Tibetan Buddhism from the Ground Up by B. Alan Wallace

An elderly monk found his way to Dharamsala in India after twenty years of imprisonment. Meeting with the Dalai Lama, he told his story, recounting the years of torture, brutality, and isolation. Then the Dalai Lama asked the monk, "Was there any time you felt that your life was truly in danger?" The old monk answered, "The only times I felt deeply endangered were the moments I felt in danger of losing my compassion for my jailers." This is a story of a profound commitment to compassion, a story of faith and forbearance that bears witness to a human being's dedication to keeping his heart and dignity intact in the face of the greatest adversity. The stooped, wrinkled old monk was a simple man without credentials, education, or sophistication. He was also a man with a remarkable heart, who had chosen to forsake the pathways of bitterness and rage, knowing that in following those ways he risked losing what was most precious to him - the home he had made in compassion.

- from Compassion: Listening to the Cries of the World by Christina Feldman

When people start to meditate or to work with any kind of spiritual discipline, they often think that somehow they're going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are. It's a bit like saying,

"If I jog, I'll be a much better person."
"If I could only get a nicer house, I'd be a better person."
"If I could meditate and calm down, I'd be a better person."

Or the scenario may be that they find fault with others; they might say,

"If it weren't for my husband, I'd have a perfect marriage."
"If it weren't for the fact that my boss and I can't get on, my job would be just great."
And "If it weren't for my mind, my meditation would be excellent."

But loving-kindness – maitri - toward ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change ourselves. Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That's the ground, that's what we study, that's what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest...

The point is that our true nature is not some ideal that we have to live up to. It's who we are right now, and that's what we can make friends with and celebrate.

- from The Wisdom of No Escape: and the Path of Loving-Kindness by Pema Chodron

© 2015 Palouse Mindfulness Inc.