Acceptance / Non-Striving
…and why these are not synonyms for inaction or complacency

The concepts of “acceptance” and “non-striving" in mindfulness practice are difficult to understand because they seem to imply passivity and inaction. I don’t think I’ve ever taught a mindfulness class in which a student didn’t question mindful “acceptance” with concerns that it would lead to passivity:

”What about activism and working toward social justice? How can anyone accept things the way they are and still do that important work? Some things are just not acceptable when there is so much preventable suffering.”
…or…
“How does “acceptance” and “non-striving” apply when being attacked, verbally or physically?”
But “acceptance”, in the context of mindfulness, does not mean that we give in to abuse, that we ignore our values, or that we give up when we encounter obstacles. Mindful “acceptance” means that we fully acknowledge the current moment (external situation as well as feelings, thoughts, and perceptions) so that we can respond appropriately in the next moment. For example, a mindful response could be forceful and energetic, or gentle and soothing, or simply pausing for a moment (see STOP) to allow an appropriate response to emerge. Consider this re-casting of the Serenity Prayer which emphasizes that it is necessary to accept that what is happening is actually happening if one is to act effectively in response:
"May I have the equanimity to accept that what is happening is actually happening, the wisdom to know when an intervention is called for (or not), and the courage to intervene (or not) and move into the next moment with grace and intelligence."

When we are presented with conflict or crisis, there are three basic choices about how to respond, and the middle one is an embodiment of presence, wisdom, and courage:

[ Thanks to Liv Downing for the inspiration for this illustration and for many of the quotes and references on this page. ]

“Wu-wei” (無爲) is a Chinese term which literally means “do nothing”, but it has a secondary meaning which is “effortless action”. In Taoism, wu-wei is a state in which a person may be intensely active and engaged externally, but internally, they are calm. Like the graceful athlete who is “in the zone” or a skilled sculptor wielding a chisel, action flows naturally from a place of inner stillness and in perfect alignment with body, mind, heart, and spirit.

For the full article the above text was taken from, go to the link to "Acceptance / Non-striving", below

Videos and Readings for this module

Excerpts related to this topic



So, let me be really clear, from the perspective of mindfulness, acceptance is not: giving up or giving in, dropping your standards, liking everything, tolerating injustice; acceptance is: seeing things as they are..., waking up to the reality of our situation, a skill we can develop, easier with practice.

- from Acceptance is not giving up, it is waking up by Liv Downing

Someone asked me, “Aren’t you worried about the state of the world?” I allowed myself to breathe and then I said, “What is most important is not to allow your anxiety about what happens in the world to fill your heart. If your heart is filled with anxiety, you will get sick, and you will not be able to help.”

Yes, there is tremendous suffering all over the world, but knowing this need not paralyze us. If we practice mindful breathing, mindful walking, mindful sitting, and working in mindfulness, we can try our best to help.

- from Thich Nhat Hanh's Facebook page

Compassion in action is paradoxical and mysterious. It is absolute yet continually changing. It accepts that everything is happening exactly as it [is], and it works with a full-hearted commitment to change. It sets goals but knows that the process is all there is. It is joyful in the midst of suffering and hopeful in the face of overwhelming odds. It is simple in a world of complexity and confusion. It is done for others, but it nurtures the self. It shields in order to be strong. It intends to eliminate suffering, knowing that suffering is limitless. It is action arising from emptiness.

- from Compassion in Action: Setting Out on the Path of Service by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush

In meditation, we have a practice that quiets the mind, even in the midst of a fight, and allows us to see situations with clarity, as they truly are. Meditation is more than a mere respite; it truly is practice for everyday life. We start on the cushion, observing our thoughts and sitting with them to understand how they are poisoned by our own delusions. We then carry those meditative techniques into daily living so we can act with greater clarity and compassion.

- from "Don't Just Sit There, Act!" by Andy Hoover, from the Sep 2019 issue of Lion's Roar

In my early 20s, at my quarter-life crisis, I read “You can Heal Your Life” by the wonderful Louise Hay. To be honest, my life wasn’t sick and really didn’t need healing, but I was not happy and felt a sense that something was missing. So, I studiously did the daily affirmations in front of the mirror. I would stand in front of the mirror and recite “I love and approve of myself” daily, for months. I imagined the life I wanted to be living, but it continued to feel artificial, as though I was forcing something. Then in my early 30s and, having abandoned positive thinking and affirmations as hippy dippy stuff that doesn’t work, I threw myself wholeheartedly into the idea that actually, we don’t have to “do” anything. I went from one extreme to the other! I now worked with acceptance (still getting the hang of this one) and non-judgement (always a work in progress) and spent many hours observing my thoughts and emotions, without doing anything in particular about them; all in the name of building my self-awareness. Then one day, this process of non-doing backfired. I had stopped actually listening to my intuition, my values and my heart and was just coasting along in a never-ending haze of acceptance.

As it turns out, we need both. We need both intention and attention. It is helpful to have a clear view of where we are going and what really matters (intention) but we also really need to stop and reflect on where we are first (attention). If all we do is manifest – we are never truly happy now, if all we do is sit contentedly in the now without assessment – how do we really grow?

- from It's Both by Liv Downing

© 2015 Palouse Mindfulness Inc.