Well… I have made week 8 last a very long time and am writing my reflections now having revisited my journey, copied up some notes that I made whilst travelling, and revisited some of the videos and writings. I find it a wonder that you can watch or read something at one point in your life and then when you return later to revisit the experience what you see and hear is new again. In this way thank you Dave Potter for the beautiful and ever growing ever fresh gift of your course.

       I do not feel but know that life is not the same and will never be the same again. After doing this course I recognise that I am part of the flow of life and the work of life is to connect and be alive and present even in the sorrows.

       In my getting started page which I wrote way back in December 2016, I said that I wanted to deepen and integrate my practice into my daily life. Now I know that life IS the practice. I came to the course with a sense that it was important and that I knew a lot about the course already (Oh I was wrong!). All I know now is that each moment is new, each moment is an opportunity if you can listen, each moment is a gift if you can recognise being awake in that moment and forgive yourself when the monkey chatter of self-talk switches on and you have lost yourself in the storm of thoughts. And I know nothing!

       So I am now excited about this journey! I am much lighter. I am happy. I am kinder to myself. I can see much more clearly when I am trying to control events too much and when I am struggling with accepting things as they are. Ironically today was going to be the day when I did lots of writing instead I am in the eye of a storm of gales and electricity circuits out. Working with the battery on the computer, normally I would be getting stressed and reactive about this but I am letting myself experience it all and allowing things to change.

       I found that during the course a few demons yelled at me. The demon of aging, and judgements about that, was quite loud, but actually I am beginning to experience this soon to be 57 year old body in a really positive way. I found the yoga very challenging and really got in the way of myself until I could let go a little more, and I stopped competing with myself. Where it says JKZ on the practice sheets was when I used Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Yoga and meditation CD which I have and one of the yoga sessions worked well for me so I used it for the yoga sessions at times. Now I am on sabbatical I am walking in the mountains 4 times a day with the dogs and that is really strengthening my body and working for me. I try to walk mindfully and with awareness being present to the experience and noticing the details of colour and shape and form in the landscape as I walk.

       During the course I sat at different times when I was travelling but sat most days even if it was very short when my mother-in-law was dying. Now my practice has fallen into a pattern and I sit every morning at 8.30am after taking the dogs out. My practice varies from 20 mins a day in the morning to an hour, and, later in the day, I will do a body scan or short meditation before sleeping or in the afternoon. The work of the day is to be ‘present’ and ‘alert’ as much as possible; to really hear what my husband is saying, to taste my food and experience anything I drink, to focus on what I am writing or listening to and to be kind to myself when I fail at this again and again and again.

       I returned to week 1 during this period and listened again to Shauna Shapiro talking about love towards oneself and I can understand inside myself that meaning. If I do not love myself and am energetically out of balance I have nothing that I can give of service to others. I also have taken on being mindful of how I can give myself such a hard time.

       In a strange way I am looking forward to returning to my very stressful but meaningful teaching job next September in order to walk the talk and embrace it all, noticing all the gifts in whatever shape or form that they come. I no longer feel that I do not have time for my practice because there are so many small ways to connect and now I cannot imagine not taking time to sit. During the silent meditations and in the last few weeks I have felt myself letting go of the hand of the course and developing my own practice but it is wonderful to know that I can always return to the teachings. I have also noticed that I no longer fall asleep in the meditations. My heart still sings with the Loving Kindness meditation and the Lake meditation and yet I know that my experiences will constantly change.

       I have completed this journey through the course, which was one of my aims, only to find that it is the beginning of a journey…how exciting! I would like to receive a certificate of completion because I would now like to apply to do a training of how to teach mindfulness in schools which will support my work with young people. But more than anything else I am incredibly grateful and deeply appreciative of your work. You make a difference in the world with your loving kindness and compassion.