The biggest thing I got out of this course was the realization, or maybe rediscovery that the world is a beautiful place. In really paying attention to things I notice the beauty of them, colors become more intense, shapes turn into lovely creations. It is quite amazing. For example:
Today I went for a walk in the woods. It started to rain and I took shelter under a yew. I just stood there for quite some time. But I was not angry to be caught in the rain but rather delighted to observe the dancing mosquitos, the leaves jumping when they got hit by rain drops, a wren fluttering by, the golden leaves falling from the trees; so much to see and enjoy. I feel a deep sense of gratitude to be alive and to be able to experience all this.
Paying attention and being in the moment makes that moment so much bigger and fuller and more wonderful. The most ordinary things become just delightful.
I am a rather happy and optimistic person, but growing up in Germany, discipline is also a big part of my personality. The other thing I discovered was the concept of compassion towards myself, to not constantly try to improve or better myself. I have a long way to go on that one, but the idea that I might just be okay just as I am in this moment feels liberating.
This is leading to the third big thing, the idea of not judging everything. This is one of the hardest exercises. I had been trying to not habitually trash people and things long before I started MBSR. I never succeeded. And then Jon mentions in sitting meditation that you simply do not have to have an opinion about things and how freeing that is. And he is so right! Instead of the “no judging” being yet another achievement to be conquered (and failing), it is just like dropping a burden. Or it is rather not even picking up this burden. That is freeing indeed.
I will continue to work on my meditation practice although I seem to be one of those, who gravitate more to walking meditation instead of sitting still. I will use elements of the body scan when I teach yoga and I pledge to work on the no judging!
Thank you so very much for the opportunity to take this online class for free and for providing so much material.
- Gretchen H.
"Letter of Learning"
from Gretchen H. in Germany
