I started the MBSR program on June 28th, 2017, and completed the formal practice (Week 7) on August 20th. I have continued with a morning meditation period (10+ mins of guided meditation plus 10 minutes of silent sitting meditation) every day since then, plus yoga and the body scan as needed.
I had two initial goals: (1) Help in getting through the grief following my dog, Daisy’s, death; and (2) Be more aware, more centered, more present, in my life.
Both of these goals have been met abundantly, and so much more. The intense grief following my dog’s death came in waves. Rather than trying to avoid or distract myself from these feelings, I “leaned into” them. I let myself feel them, in a kind, caring and compassionate way, which was truly liberating. I found the “Soften, Soothe, Allow” practice to be very helpful. Dealing with grief this way was hard. I cried more than I ever have and still do. I was so used to avoiding grief, that the fresh grief of Daisy’s death brought up many old griefs I had not dealt with. So it’s been a long process, which continues today. But it has also opened me up to feeling other feelings more intensely, including joy, awe, love, gratitude and happiness. I couldn’t be more thankful for it.
The second goal, to be more aware and centered and present in my life, has led to many revelations. I sat in a traffic jam for over 20 minutes, and enjoyed the time of rest and relaxation, and watching the scenery. I had a broken tooth extracted, something I was dreading, but being mindful during the procedure made it so much less distressing. This is so counterintuitive, it amazes me. I sit out on my deck every day, and rather than see all the work that needs to be done in my garden, I enjoy the moment, the sunshine, the rain, the flowers and the smells, the feel of the wind, stroking my cats. This is where I’ve been doing my morning meditation, and it is so refreshing not to be doing, but to be being. Sitting meditation comes easily to me now, where initially, I was so distracted.
The third major revelation is in regard to pain. I am an older woman (73). I was used to feeling pain somewhere in my body all the time. It was just normal for me, and I didn’t even think of including pain reduction in my initial goals. But I am now pain free, and have been ever since practicing the Body Scan during the first seven days of Week 1. They weren’t even good practices - I kept falling asleep. But they worked. This is completely unexpected, and very mysterious. I have arthritis in my spine, torn cartilage in both knees, and plantar fasciitis in both feet. But no pain! I can’t explain it, but it’s wonderful.
Thank you so much. This program has changed my life for the better, and I’m telling others about it, so they can try it for themselves.
- Jean C.
"Letter of Learning"
from Jean C. in Nova Scotia
