Letter - Debra K.

I started the Palouse Mindfulness Online MBSR course over a year ago. I abandoned the structure of the course for a time but continued to implement Mindfulness into my work as a psychotherapist and into my daily activities. After a couple of forgetful moments in which I told myself, “I need to practice more mindfulness!”, I decided to return to the online course, feeling even more ready and motivated to complete it this time.

Mindfulness resonated with me from the moment I was introduced to it. As my practice has evolved, I now find I am incorporating it into my day even when I do not plan to do so. I believe this means I am starting to live a mindful life. I have been forgetting less while noticing more. I have made some bigger changes in my life that have been wonderful, and I attribute these changes to the enhanced level of awareness that mindfulness has brought to me. I notice what brings me joy and am moving toward those things more. For example, I have replaced excessive Facebook time with two things I love: writing and yoga. Writing and yoga has never been more fulfilling now that I am present!

At work, I share mindfulness with my patients at a psychiatric hospital. I am sure they are benefiting from having a therapist who has become a better version of herself- calmer, more attentive, a better listener, etc. The Soften, Soothe, Allow Meditation has been beneficial for my patients. Although as their therapist I can validate, reassure and comfort them during painful times externally, my effort does not compare to the power of those interventions coming from within the person experiencing the pain. The Lovingkindness meditation was most appreciated. Even just reflecting on the peacefulness created during lovingkindness has an impact. Something wonderful was ignited in me with that meditation, and I am keeping it going.

Within my family, mindfulness has brought me even closer to my teenagers and my husband. Being more aware, whether it’s of myself, of them, of a situation, etc. has led to more gratitude, more quality time and less distractibility. My house is even cleaner than it was a few months ago because mindfulness makes menial chores kind of enjoyable (I can’t believe I am saying that!).

I still have work to do and will surely continue to make mistakes. I barely beat myself up anymore when I reflect on mistakes, instead noticing, Yeah, I was not mindful when I did that. My mind was elsewhere. It is clear to me that continuing to increase mindful moments in everyday life will benefit me and the people around me.

Now that I have learned these foundational skills, there is no turning back or “unlearning” them. There is no aspect of my life in which mindfulness cannot be implemented. I feel safer- safer behind the wheel, safer with “difficult people”, safer in the company of the thoughts in my head. In moments I feel anxiety building, that awareness of breath is always there, and it has become my safe place. I catch myself with a half-smile on my face during previously unappreciated moments of routine daily life. I would very much like to bring more mindfulness to northeastern PA. This is supposedly the most depressed region of the United States, but a person I respect told me this merely means it is “ripe for change”.

Thank you for this life-changing gift.

- Debra K.