What a journey, finding my breath – feeling more engaged and less constricted - free again. Also, holding when stressed, and noticing. The curiosity and noticing is remarkable. Who knew that being mindful and being a scientist were congruent. Actually, helpful to engage all the mindfulness practice with my curiosity and breath as driving forces.
Using the body scan and being still as pain fighters. I notice that there is no more Ibuprofen or wishing the pain would go away, having more patience and compassion, being now, is enough. I am trained in Biofeedback, hypnosis, stress reduction and other evidenced based therapies as a psychologist. I teach these and mindfulness to veterans for management of symptoms they report e.g., PTSD, anxiety, sleep, pain, TBI and anger. The beneficial qualities are remarkable to observe in them. And, simultaneously seeing the transformation in me as I ask them to notice, I too notice. Transformation is the essence that I have observed, my sleep is deeper and refreshing, my health improved, my pain diminished my compassion for self and others, when feeling distress or stress in my living. This is amazing to have discovered. Finding “the art of listening” has enhanced my confidence. This is a core issue for me, being patient and compassionate toward other living things/individuals is not the issue for me. I am like the boiled carrot, soft…but this leads to wounding. (Three objects boiled for 20 minutes in water, the carrot, the egg and the coffee bean). I certainly do not want to be the egg, but I have been so at times; hard on the outside and beyond being soft on the inside, turning green and too awful to consume.
So, perhaps becoming the coffee bean, hard but transformational e.g., the water in which it is boiled does not make it change; rather it changes the water. This notion leads me to more practice of compassion towards me and then the outcome seems to be more peace with myself and for myself. I am seeing more openness, more engagement and more confidence. This journey has not been about the certificate, rather it is about my acquisition and application of NOW. The outcomes are there, but not as goals. My curiosity as a scientist is not only applicable, but the foundation of my practice as is my breath. My dear friend, Kathryn once said “Ros, breathe, just breathe.” …and I am!!
Thank you for this lovely journey and I look forward to more.
- Roslyn F.
"Letter of Learning"
from Roslyn F. in Florida
